Merry Christmas!

Here are some pictures from our Christmas party. We played games, decorated "Human Christmas Trees," had a contest for best dressed, and watched Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!" We even had some alumni return from college.


the winning group:

Hello again!

Hi! So I realized I haven't posted anything in a while...oops! But youth group has been alive and well and we are ready and roaring to head into 2010. Here's what we've been up to so far:

~ACCY Senior High Youth Convention in Seattle (November)

~Old Covenant History

~a Bible study on the Book of Revelation

~40 Days for Life

~discovering what is faith, hope and love

~Adoration

2010 is going to prove to be another amazing year and here's what we have planned coming up:

~The Mass

~The Sacraments

~Fun Nights

~Theology of the Body!!!

Starting on February 28, 2010 we will be kicking off our 10 week study on the Theology of the Body. This is a look at life, love, relationships, and sexuality according to God's plan for salvation. For more info check out Theology of the Body NW. Youth from St. Patrick's Parish in Tacoma will be joining us. Check back soon for a detailed outline of dates and times. You don't want to miss out!

And don't forget about our Christmas Party this Sunday Dec. 13th from 6:45-8:15pm. Bring a goodie to share and come dressed in your craziest Christmas attire. There will be prizes for best dressed!

Steubenville NW Pictures

Jul 31-Aug 2 eight youth plus Michael and Kristine Mauss traveled to Spokane, WA for an awesome youth convention put on by Fransiscan University of Stuebenville. We had Mass everyday, went to great workshops, praised God with incerdible music, and had indescribable experiences in Adoration. We met people from all over the country and we're excited to go again next year.

Check out the pictures!

the gang: left to right -- bottom row: Kristine, Isabel, Maria
top row: Laura-Elizabeth, Michael, Drew, Ben, Mike, and Anna



The Procession of Christ during Adoration...super powerful



Praise and Worship

strolling through the campus at Gonzaga

Mass

just Ben being himself :)

staying cool...

Praise and Worship

BIG FISH!

Youth Group Kick-Off Night!

Join us September 13th for our first night of youth group! We'll have pizza, karaoke, and a whole lot of fun waiting for you when you come. Be prepared for a few surprises!

Hike with Fr. Mike!

Hike with Fr. Mike!
Tuesday, August 11th

WHO: Teens – 8th grade graduates and older. And adults to drive and chaperone
WHEN: Tuesday August 11th
WHERE: Hike from Chinook Pass to Crystal Mountain Ski area. This is a 7 mile one-way hike on a trail.
TIME: We will leave St. Charles at 8:00am. Please arrive about 10 minutes early at the Main School Entrance. We plan to return by 6:00pm.

WHAT TO BRING:
1 -day pack
1 - pair of hiking boots
If you only have tennis shoes make sure to bring an extra pair of socks on the hike.

1 - pair of long pants (shorts optional if its a nice day)
1 - short sleeve shirt
1 - long sleeve shirt
1 – light jacket

Sunglasses
Suntan lotion
Bug Repellant
Camera if you wish

Lunch
1 quart of Water to drink
Your permission slip!!!

**If you need a permission slip, email Kristine Mauss and she will send one to you

If you are interested in attending, please contact Kristine Mauss at kmauss@stcharlesb.org or 253-686-6337 no later than Sunday, August 9th to make sure we have enough chaperones

NOTE: If rain is predicted the hike will be rescheduled.

Summer Happenings!

Hey! What are you up to this summer? We'd love to know. Just leave a comment and you could be randomly selected to win your choice of a $25 gift card!

To start things off, what am I up to? Lots of swimming with my baby girl, trips to the park, a week in Lake Chelan with my family (I've never been!), and Steubenville NW coming up at the end of July...not to mention celebrating my birthday!

Week 11

Theology of the Body
Week 11
The Eucharist: Receiving the Gift of the Bridegroom

“This is my command; love one another as I love you.” John 15:12

“The Eucharist is the ‘source and summit of the Christian life.’” CCC 1324

“Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life.’” John 6:35

“From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.”
John 6:66

Recapping the Fundamentals of Our Study:
1. We looked back to the beginning to discover God’s original plan for our sexuality, which is our call to LOVE in and through the BODY and nuptial union.
2. We revisited the Garden of Eden and watched SIN enter the picture as Satan twisted and distorted Adam and Eve’s sexual desires.
3. We followed fallen historical man, including ourselves, and watched as sexual impurities and distortions led and continue to lead humanity away from Christ.
4. We looked at the cross, our HOPE, and learned of the REDEMPTIVE power to be set free – to once more love as Christ loves.
5. We examined the ways in which a mindset must be developed in order to understand God’s free, total, faithful, and fruitful love and ways to live this out.
6. We looked at marriage at the physical embodiment of our call to IMAGE God.
7. We looked at the celibate vocation and looked ahead to the promise of the resurrection of the body and our heavenly UNION with God!
8. Now, we will end our study by focusing on the Eucharist, the Consummation of the Cosmos, the consummation of the plan of God, for salvation and sexuality!

But first we must each pray for our eyes and hearts to be opened. The reason Satan has attacked and twisted our sexuality is to distort the goodness and Truth of the Eucharist!

9. As Catholics, we make a very bold claim regarding the Eucharist.
10. We believe that the bread and wine are actually transformed into the Body and Blood of Christ, which we receive.

Consummation of the Cosmos
1. As we have concluded before, God’s eternal plan is to unite us to Himself.

“In all wisdom and insight, he has made known to us the mystery of his will in accord with his favor that set forth in him as a plan for the fullness of times, to sum up all things in Christ, in heaven and on earth.” Ephesians 1:9-10

2. Heaven is the eternal union of the bride (the communion of saints) to the Bridegroom (Christ). Heaven is a union of communion!

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.”
Revelation 21:1-2

If God’s plan is to unite us to Himself, how do we become one with Him?
3. THE EUCHARIST!!! Through the Eucharist we become one flesh with Christ!

“’For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church.” Ephesians 5:31-32

4. The Eucharist is where we are eternally united to Christ!
5. This is why the Incarnation is the center of the whole Christian mystery – this would not be possible had Christ not taken on our flesh.
6. God became man so that man could become god (god with a small “g” in the sense that we are one with God).
7. Christ humbled himself and took our flesh to offer himself as a sacrifice, so that through His death and Resurrection we too, if united with Him, will die and rise with Him!
8. What is a sacrament?
9. How is the Eucharist a Sacrament?

“Amen Amen I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.”
John 6:53-56

God’s Plan of Salvation
1. Since the fall of Adam, God has made covenants with people offering them a second chance in restoring their relationship with him.
2. What is the difference between a contract and a covenant?
3. A covenant is more than a contract – it is an oath that binds two parties together as a family. Through His old covenants with Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, and David, God promised that the people of Israel would be His people and He would be their God, their Father.

What is the sign of the old covenant?
4. Circumcision! Why circumcision? Of all things? How incredibly odd is that?

Who will see the sign of the old covenant?
5. A man and his wife.
When?
6. During nuptial union.

What will they be reminded of?
7. Their covenant with God and His promise of fruitfulness to Abraham and his descendants.
What is circumcision?
8. The giving of flesh and the shedding of blood.

Why the male genitals? Why not a mark on the forehead?
9. First, because through the male genitalia we see the physical embodiment of our call to love as God loves, to make a gift of ourselves! And second, so that it will be revealed during nuptial union. And third, to be a reminder of God’s Fatherhood.
10. The Old Covenant prefigures the New and the New Covenant fulfills the Old.
11. The Old covenant is fulfilled through Christ, when God establishes a New Covenant with His people.

What is the sign of the New Covenant?
11. THE EUCHARIST!!!

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body." Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it anew with you in my Father's kingdom." Matthew 26:26-29

How is circumcision fulfilled in the Eucharist?
12. Just as circumcision was, the Eucharist reveals God’s call to love.
“Love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:12-13
13. Just as circumcision was, the Eucharist is revealed in “nuptial union”

When did Christ participate in nuptial union?
14. In Latin, Consummatum Est!, It is consummated! Christ was consummating His marriage with His bride! The two become one flesh!!!
15. And just as in a wedding, when Christ died the veil was lifted. “Then the veil of the temple was torn down the middle.” Luke 23:45 Christ’s death had “lifted the veil” which separated God from humanity. God’s redemptive work was completed! His plan of salvation fulfilled! The gates of Heaven reopened to the Heavenly bride!

Through the Eucharist we enter into nuptial union with God!
(But remember, God is not sexual…)

This is exactly what Heaven is; the Eucharist is Heaven on Earth! Through the Eucharist Christ becomes one flesh with His bride, the Church.

“This is my body, given up for you.” Luke 22:19

“For he who has become your husband is your Maker, his name is the Lord of Hosts.”
Isaiah 54:5

“Christ is the Bridegroom because “he has given himself”: his body has been “given,” his blood has been “poured out” (cf. Luke 22:19-20) In this way “he loved them to the end” (John 13:1). The “sincere gift” contained in the sacrifice of the cross gives definitive prominence to the spousal meaning of God’s love…Christ is the Bridegroom of the Church. The Eucharist is the Sacrament of our redemption. It is the Sacrament of the Bridegroom and the Bride.”
John Paul II

You are what you eat: The Body of Christ
1. Isn’t it just a symbol? NO! Remember, Sacraments actually are or partake in the mystery of Christ…let’s look at an example
a. John 4:31-34 and Matthew 16:5-12. Here Jesus talks about food in a figurative way. The Jews interpret Him literally but Jesus shows them in plain language that He is only speaking figuratively
b. Now read John 6 especially John 6:51
c. Jesus stated at least 6 times that He is the Bread of Life. He repeats it again and again that we must eat His flesh and drink His blood in order to have eternal life.
d. Take note of verse 55: “my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink.” This is not the language of symbolism.
e. But what if it was meant to be symbolic? Let’s look at verse 66…
2. By receiving Christ into our bodies at Mass, you and I truly become the Body of Christ – each one of called with our specific gifts and talents to be Jesus’ hands and feet in this broken world.
4. What would happen if we truly believed, with our whole hearts, in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist – Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity? How would this change our lives?
5. How humble is Christ to become disguised under bread and wine for us? Let us approach Him with reverence, thanksgiving, and belief in His plan.

“I do believe. Help my unbelief!" Mark 9:24

Did you know that Christ was crucified naked?
1. Through His very nudity, He revealed, made flesh, the plan of God for our salvation: to be united to Him as a Bridegroom is united to His Bride
2. Can you now understand why Satan’s attack is on sexuality, on the naked body? Because, by attacking the body, God’s perfect plan makes us uncomfortable and inhibits us from ultimately viewing the Eucharist in all its glory, in all its redemptive power!
3. Do you know that sexual intercourse (nuptial union) was from the very beginning was from the very beginning a foreshadowing of Christ union to the Church? This is why Satan hates God’s plan for sexuality and nuptial union…it points us directly to salvation!
4. Just think about it…the Eucharist is where we become “one flesh” with God! It points us to our eternal union with Him and we participate now in this union
(Hmmmmmm…where have we heard this before? The physical points us to the spiritual and we partake in the graces now…)


THE EUCHARIST IS HEAVEN ON EARTH!!!

Steubenville NW!

o If you’ve liked Convention, you’ll LOVE Steubenville NW! This is truly a weekend that can change your life.

o Steubenville Northwest is a high school youth gathering on the campus of Gonzaga University in Spokane!

o The theme this summer is "Above All", based on 1 Chronicles 29:11 and is based on the theme that God is bigger than all the world has to offer and His love for us is bigger than anything we can imagine….

o There will be speakers, workshops, awesome music, Mass, and a whole lotta good times

o We will be leaving the morning of Friday July 31st and returning the night of Sunday August 2nd

o The cost is $180 for 6 meals, two nights lodging in dorms at Gonzaga University, all sessions and materials needed. If you can’t afford all or some of it, we can help!

o Michael and I will be going, but we need more chaperones, too

o If you are interested, please let me know by June 14th so I can start getting the registration materials together

For more info, click here

Week 10

Theology of the Body Week 10
The Sacramentality of Marriage and Celibacy for the Kingdom

“The man and his wife were naked, yet they felt no shame.” Genesis 2:25

“’For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church.” Ephesians 5:31-32

“Authentic married love is caught up into divine love.”
Gaudium et Spes 48

Recap of our study thus far:
1. God created men and women in His image and likeness. God is Love, and we are made to reflect and point to His Love.
2. Once again, through the union of a man and woman in marriage, God makes visible His love for mankind and His plan to be eternally united with us in Heaven.
3. Until sin entered the world, man and woman knew how to love one another perfectly – without causing hurt or shame
4. Women are called to be receptive and know their beauty is a reflection to others of Heaven
5. Women are also supposed to guard and protect their bodies from objectification and shame because a woman has the supreme gift of bringing life into the world (whether spiritual or physical)
6. Men are to sacrifice for women and “lay down their life” for them, just as Christ did on the cross – to be a warrior
7. Men are also supposed to initiate love with women by pursuing them, and to protect women from their own lust – by treating them respectfully and allowing God to perfect their sexual desires
8. Why does the church say that the only place for sex is marriage?
9. Why is sex out of marriage a lie?
10. How is the body a sacrament?
11. Why do we need to practice chastity in marriage?


God’s Plan of Salvation
1. Marriage is important because it is not simply a part of God’s plan, marriage IS God’s plan
2. CCC 1617 “The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath which proceeds the wedding feast, the Eucharist.”
3. God created us so that we could participate in and experience his love and thus become eternally united with Him, who is love!
4. Marriage is an icon of the Trinity and our eternal union with God
5. Marriage, primarily through the act of nuptial union, embodies or makes visible the beauty and perfection of God’s plan of salvation. Why?


The Sacrament of Marriage
1. The inexhaustible question: what is a sacrament?
2. Marriage is the “primordial sacrament” JPII In other words it is the original sacrament.
3. Marriage is a symbol of the union between Christ and the Church Ephesians 5:31-32
4. Simply put, God reveals Himself to our world through marriage
5. But, Sacraments are more than symbols – they are signs that actually communicate or participate in what they symbolize, which in turn conveys GRACE
6. A marriage becomes more than a symbol and is elevated to a sacrament when both man and woman are baptized. Through their baptisms, both man and woman become a member of the Bride of Christ, who is united to her spouse, thus becoming one body (The Body of Christ!)
7. Because they are members of the Bride and Body of Christ, a Christian marriage is not merely a symbol of the love between Christ and the Church – it is a real participation in it!
8. On a side note, does anyone know when a marriage actually becomes valid in the eyes of the Church? Consummation! Consumatem Est!
9. CCC 1123 “The purpose of a sacrament is to sanctify men, to build up the body of Christ and, finally, to give worship to God.”
10. Where does the grace come in? Through the nuptial union (sex) and through the day-to-day love and sacrifice of being husband and wife
11. This said, what happens when the infatuation wears off??? What is true love in a marriage, anyway?
12. The Sacrament of Marriage is a covenant, NOT a contract!
13. We can break, or go against, a contract and then the contract is void
14. We can go against a covenant, but the covenant doesn’t go away


Ephesians 5:21-32
1. We must approach St. Paul’s words with new eyes because this passage is the basis for our study on marriage
2. Through the spousal analogy of Christ and the Church, St. Paul revolutionizes the reality of marriage

The Model Marriage
3. So, what does the marriage between Christ and the Church look like?
4. Christ sacrificed Himself for His Bride, the Church, and the Church accepts and submits to His love and bears life to the world.

Submit? Sign me up!
5. Ephesians 5:22-24: the most misunderstood passage in the Bible!
6. The word “submission” means “under the mission.” In other words, the woman (who is the model for humanity, remember) is under the mission of her husband
7. So, what is the mission of the husband?
8. Ephesians 5:27 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy…”
9. How did Christ love the Church? HE DIED FOR HER!!!
10. If the mission of the husband is to sacrifice and “die” for his wife on a daily basis, what woman wouldn’t want to be under this mission?!
11. Remember: the love between a husband and wife must be reciprocal. It is not passive or forceful…it is a shared, equal, and mutual love

This is a Great Mystery
12. Through the earthly understanding of husband and wife we can only begin to understand the union between God and humanity, but how awesome that the “great mystery” of our redemption and salvation is made visible through marriage!!!
13. Ephesians 5:31-32 “For this reason a man will leave His father and mother and be united to His wife and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.”
14. St. Paul directly quotes Genesis 2:24
15. Not only does this refer to a man and a woman, but also calls attention to what Christ did for His Bride: Jesus left His Father in Heaven and His mother on earth and was joined to His Bride, the Church…where? The Cross!

Consummatem Est!
John 19:30


PART II

Vocations
1. We all have the same call to LOVE
2. Your vocation is the path designated by God that is most likely to get you to holiness and our eternal goal, which is HEAVEN
3. What we are learning in this study on sexuality is how to get to Heaven, because your vocation is your path to Heaven and your sexuality is how you live your vocation!
4. How seriously will we take our vocations?
5. Since we are all called to self-sacrificial love, then the question of vocation is:
Who am I called to pour myself out, in love, to?


Celibacy For the Kingdom
1. “Celibacy for the kingdom signifies ‘the risen man, in whom there will be revealed…the absolute and eternal nuptial meaning of the glorified body in union with God himself.’” March 24, 1982
2. Some are called to an earthly marriage, which will point to and prepare them for the heavenly marriage. Others are called to skip the earthly marriage and participate here and now in the heavenly marriage to the Lamb through celibacy.
3. The celibate vocation is not what you give up, but what you embrace. Celibacy “skips” the sacrament of marriage and partakes in the real thing, a union with Christ.
4. If it is “not good for man to be alone,” Christian celibacy reveals that the ultimate fulfillment of solitude is found only in union with God.
5. Celibacy is not the same as chastity…we are all called to be chaste, no matter what our vocation.
6. “The Kingdom of God is at hand…”Mark 1:15 --> Celibacy proclaims to the world that the Kingdom of God is here!
7. The sacrament of Holy Orders, in turn, is where the spiritual reality of Heaven is realized through the physical means of the priest and the Catholic Church.
8. Celibacy does not demean or devalue marriage; rather it reveals its true goodness by demonstrating what marriage leads to.
9. Celibacy and marriage are complementary. We can’t understand, or even live, without one or the other! “Each one has his own special gift from God, one of a kind and one of another.” 1Corinthians 7:7


Why Celibate Male Priesthood?
1. “Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:12
2. Celibacy is not a contradiction to everything we’ve talked about – it is the fulfillment!
3. Celibacy is not un­-natural, it is super-natural. It is a grace given by God to carry out a call to love and make a self-sacrificial gift.
4. Christ was not married to one particular woman because he came to marry the whole human race. The Church is his eternal Bride.
5. Ordained priests become a sacrament of Christ, acting in persona Christi.
6. They make the love of the heavenly Bridegroom efficaciously present to the Church, particularly in the Eucharistic sacrifice.
“This is my body, which will be given up for you.” Luke 22:19
7. Celibacy gives priests the freedom to sacrifice completely for his bride, which is the Church. How hard would is be to “lay down your life” for a wife, children, the church, and all your priestly duties?
8. Celibacy also is not the cause of sexual problems/scandals. It is the grave misunderstanding of our sexuality that must be addressed.


Why Can’t Women Be Priests?
1. Equality between the sexes doesn’t mean sameness It’s the fundamental difference of the sexes that reveals the great “nuptial mystery” – a mystery that brings life into the world
2. Christ was very controversial and didn’t care about racial or gender barriers. He could have chosen female priests…so, why didn’t he?
3. The priest “stands in” for Christ, who is the Bridegroom. If a woman were to do this, then the symbolism would become that of bride to bride. Is this life giving?
4. Again, in a sacrament the physical must point to the spiritual. The physical fatherhood must precede the ability to become a spiritual father.
5. This is why we can call a priest Father, and how religious fulfill their call to marriage. Through ordination or religious vows, priests and religious become the husband of the church or the wife of Christ and can thus bear spiritual children.

Let us open our hearts and ask God to guide us in our call to love.
"Let it be done unto me according to your word.”

Week 9

Theology of the Body
Week 9
Purity of Heart: Tackling Tough Issues...PART II

“This is my command: Love one another as I love you.” John 15:12

“It should cause no surprise that the church, and less than her Divine Founder, is destined to be a ‘sign of contradiction.’” (Luke 2:34) Humane Vitae

IVF
1. In-Vitro Fertilization is also against God’s plan because it removes the unitive reason in sex
2. While we must be sympathetic towards couple who cannot have children, we must also understand the consequences of IVF
3. It takes many embryos to make IVF successful. This means that many fertilized embryos must die in order for one or two to survive. In other words, these are souls that are never able to reach their full potential and the result is that of abortion
4. With selecting specific embryos also opens up a Pandora’s Box…in comes gender selection, trait selection, and before you know it we will select “perfect” children with no abnormalities or imperfections
5. Many times in the selection process women will get abortions if their baby doesn’t register as exactly what they want, or if more than one embryo develops into a fetus

Going Deeper: The Church Stands Alone
1. Every church in Christendom condemned contraception until 1930, when Anglicanism gave permission for the use of contraception in a few cases. Soon, all Protestant denominations had adopted this position and today, the Catholic Church stands alone
2. We must ask ourselves why the church has stubbornly stood her ground despite enormous controversy.
3. What is so important that this is worth standing against the rest of Christianity?
4. The answer: SEX
What’s the Big Deal?
1. Contraception is a contradiction to God’s original plan – for us to image and fully participate in His plan of salvation
2. There are two purposes for sex, just as there are two purposes for eating – if you separate out one of these two purposes, it becomes disordered (aka: twisted)
3. Analogy of Wedding invitations…
4. Sexual union is where the wedding vows are made flesh. Remember that sexual union is an icon of the Trinity.
5. So, what is the love that the couple is imaging: 1) FREE 2) TOTAL
3) FAITHFUL 4) FRUITFUL
6. Contraception is a direct contradiction to each of these wedding vows. HOW?

FREELY:
*Contraception was not invented to prevent pregnancy, there was already a 100% foolproof method: abstinence. It was invented so that men an women could indulge in sexual pleasures without the “consequences”
*We have confused freedom with license. Because of this “sexual freedom” we have been sold into “sexual slavery”
*If you are controlled by your passions and cannot say no, your yes is emptied of it’s meaning. Our yes doesn’t mean anything if we can’t say no!

TOTALLY:
Contraception is an “all, but…”
“I give all of myself to you but not my fertility. I give all of myself to you except that which sets me apart.”

FAITHFULLY:
*Marital vows call a couple to remain faithful no matter how challenging it may be.
*By choosing contraception, a couple is inadvertently saying that the way God created marital love to be is too challenging.

FRUITFULLY:
*Sexual union images God, it proclaims a life-giving communion of persons. A sterilized act still makes a proclamation, but it is a lie!
*This is not to say a couple is supposed to have a child every time they have sex…

1. Contraception breeds the mentality of indulgence and self-gratification. It points inward. It’s consequences are also harder on women.
2. Pope Paul VI and Humane Vitae: Pope Paul VI made four rather general "prophecies" about what would happen if the Church's teaching on contraception were ignored:

~ Infidelity and moral decline: that there has been a widespread decline in morality, especially sexual morality, in the last 25 years, is very difficult to deny. The increase in the number of divorces, abortion, our-of-wedlock pregnancies, and venereal diseases should convince any skeptic that sexual morality is not the strong suit of our age.

~ Lost Respect for Women: It will come to "the point of considering her as a mere instrument of selfish enjoyment and no longer as his respected and beloved companion." Treating their bodies as mechanical instruments to be manipulated for their own purposes, they risk treating each other as objects of pleasure.

~ Abuse of Power: “It will be a dangerous weapon…”The forced abortion program in China shows the stark extreme toward which governments will take population programs. Moreover, few people are willing to recognize the growing evidence that many parts of the world face not overpopulation, but underpopulation

~ Unlimited Dominion: contraception would lead man to think that he had unlimited dominion over his own body. Sterilization is now the most widely used form of contraception in the U.S.; individuals are so convinced of their rights to control their own bodies that they do not hesitate to alter even their own physical make-up.

Where in the Bible does it say contraception is wrong?
1. Genesis 38:9-10 Onan was killed for coitus interuptus (withdrawal), not for failing to carry out his brother’s lineage --> Deuteronomy 25:7-10 describes the actual penalty
2. Genesis 1:27 “image and likeness, male and female”
3. Genesis 1:28 “be fruitful and multiply”
4. John 15:12 “Love one another as I love you.” Is Christ’s love for His bride fruitless? Would he sterilize His love?
5. Fruitfulness is a blessing: Genesis 1:28, Exodus 23:25-26, Deuteronomy 7:13-14
6. Children are a blessing: Psalm 127:3-5, 1Chronicles 25:5, 26:4-5
7. Non-generative sexual acts warrant death: Leviticus 20:13, 20:15-16

Looking Deeper
1. So, is a couple supposed to have 12 kids?
2. Suppose a couple never wanted to violate their wedding vows and had a just reason to space their children, what could they do?
3. “Human dignity and the meaning of sexual intercourse dictate that the only acceptable birth control is self-control.” Christopher West
4. What are the just reasons?
5. What to do…Natural Family Planning!
6. God created the body in such a way that there are specific conditions that MUST be present for a woman to get pregnant.
7. The other times during her cycle are infertile times, and she cannot possibly conceive.
8. NFP involves the training of a couple to record cervical mucus, cervical signs, and waking temperature to decipher a woman’s fertility. No regular cycle is necessary and the couple can decipher daily if the woman is fertile or not –and is 99% effective
9. This is not the rhythm method!
10. But, before we go further let’s answer the big question…

What’s the difference between contraception and NFP?
11. What’s the difference between suicide and natural death? Abortion and miscarriage?
12. Each have the same result but entirely opposite means of achievement – NFP abstains from fertile intercourse, contraception sterilizes it
13. The big difference: the FRAMEWORK OF MIND!
14. Whether a life results or not, it remains OPEN to life!

Why use NFP?
1. NFP, like chastity is not a NO to sex, it is a YES to the amazing plan God has for sex.
2. We cannot become like Adam and Eve, trying to take life into our own hands
3. We must become like Mary, who openly received, and like Christ who sacrificially gave
4. Benefits of NFP:
*Open communication
*Less likely to use one another for sex
*A correct ordering of our passion and desires with our will
*Periodic abstinence allows for couples to be creative and show other ways of affection
*Abstinence also creates a honeymoon period for when the couple engages in the marital act again

Excerpts from an interview taken from Kristine Mauss by a Sociologist at Western Washington University:

My husband and I are young, faithful Catholic Christians who strive to follow the Catholic Church’s teachings in all areas of our lives. In learning about and researching why the Church teaches that contraception is wrong, we have come to see the absolutely beautiful and freeing truths behind what She teaches – especially regarding this issue. When every other organization in the world has conformed to the “wisdom of the world,” the Church has stuck by what Christ and his Apostles said from the beginning...We believe that Natural Family Planning (NFP) also has many benefits to the woman’s body, to marriages, and to the family – which is the foundation of society. While the divorce rate in the general population is around 50%, couples who use NFP and go to church have less than a 2% divorce rate. If this isn’t telling enough for the case of NFP in making marriages strong, I don’t know what is!

First of all, let me tell you what NFP is not. It is not “Catholic Birth Control.” There are two purposes for sex (unity and procreation), just as there are two purposes for eating (pleasure and nutrition) and if you separate out or remove one of the purposes it becomes “disordered,” otherwise known as going against Natural Law. Because Contraception removes the procreative purpose from sex, it therefore makes sex “disordered.” NFP simply teaches a man and a woman to develop a mindset of ordering their lives according to God’s Providence – discerning whether or not they are able financially, emotionally, or physically able to get pregnant each month. God created the body in such a way that there are specific conditions that MUST be present for a woman to get pregnant. The other times during her cycle are infertile times, and she cannot possibly conceive. NFP involves the training of a couple to record cervical mucus, cervical signs, and waking temperature to decipher a woman’s fertility. No regular cycle is necessary and the couple can decipher daily if the woman is fertile or not –and it is 99% effective. On a side note, this is not the rhythm method! (Which hasn’t been used for 40 years, by the way.) NFP also upholds each of the marriage vows: to love the other FREELY, TOTALLY, FAITHFULLY, and FRUITFULLY.

Natural Family Planning has been the greatest instrument of our success as a married couple. Every single month we have to talk about if we are “ready” to have a child. I don’t mean “Ready” as if we have to save up for a boat or don’t want a child because I don’t want to change my shopping habits, however I mean “Ready” as if we are emotionally at a place and really can afford to bring a child into this world. It forces us to evaluate our finances, our sanity, our events in life, and our faithfulness to God. We pray about our family specifically at these times and God gives us the incredible grace to remain open to whatever He has in store for us. If we discern that we are not ready to get pregnant one month, we simply abstain during the times I am fertile. If we discern that we are to be open to a pregnancy I still chart my cycle (which takes less than 30 seconds a day) and we do not abstain during our fertile time. The funny thing is, it takes a lot to line up to get pregnant and simply because one has sex while they are fertile, does not mean a pregnancy will result.

Above all, NFP orders a couple to value human life and to know that God is the author of human life. Because a mindset is developed that puts God at the center of a marriage, there is a less of a chance that someone would view an “unplanned” pregnancy as unwanted or disposable. If a couple is using contraception, it is easy to fall back on abortion as a back-up contraception if the first “line of defense” fails.

In using NFP, it is less likely that a couple will “use” one another as sexual objects. If a couple needs to abstain during a particular month it teaches them how to love one another in different ways, to put the family first above their own sexual desires, and to build anticipation (like waiting for a second honeymoon!) until the times comes when the woman’s fertile time has passed.

Other benefits of NFP are: it is environmentally sound as it doesn’t emit chemicals into the sewer system, it is virtually cost-free, easy to use, it is morally acceptable, immediately reversible, highly effective, promotes better marriages, and above all, it is safe and healthy – with no side effects.

Week 8

Theology of the Body
Week 8
Purity of Heart: Tackling Tough Issues

“This is my command: Love one another as I love you.” John 15:12

“It should cause no surprise that the church, and less than her Divine Founder, is destined to be a ‘sign of contradiction.’” (Luke 2:34) Humane Vitae

**NOTE: Because of the awesome conversations we had these topics, plus those we didn't get to, will continue next week!

Recap of our study so far:
1. What is a sacrament? It is a physical sign that points to a spiritual reality. It can also convey God’s grace
2. There are 2 parts: the US to GOD and the GOD to US

3. How are the body and sex a sacrament?
4. Sexual union, the two becoming “one flesh” makes visible the invisible mystery of God’s Love…this is huge!
5. God created sex to point to who He is: a communion of persons. God created sex to image His love with us (showing us that His plan is to be united to us forever…) and to give us grace
6. God says His love is FREE, TOTAL, FAITHFUL, FRUITFUL and he showed us by dying on the cross. Where do we also see this definition of love?
7. What is the main reason for abstaining from sex until marriage? Sex is meant to say the wedding vows with the body. Every time a married couple has sex, they are renewing their wedding vows! Our bodies speak a spiritual language and not only can they tell the truth, but they can also lie…This is why sex out of marriage is lying with our bodies
8. What is the purpose of dating?
9. How are dating and courtship different?

Tackling the Tough Issues
1. Tonight we will be talking about the “tough issues” when it comes to dating and relationships. My purpose is to present the truth and, knowing what I do from TOB, I will be held accountable by our Lord if I leave out the tough stuff just to be liked.
2. The great thing is that this is not what I am saying – this is what the Church says. I have not been and will not be presenting my own ideologies, even though I give examples from my own life.
3. I will say, however, that through TOB I have seen people who disagree with the Church on a lot of issues around sexuality be transformed and set free by what She teaches.
4. Just as we’ve mentioned before, the Church doesn’t have rules just to have them. It’s because She possesses the truth, and I think we’ve all seen that over these past 7 weeks
5. If the Church has spoken so openly and beautifully about sex and it’s purpose (and we’ve seen a lot of hurt in this world in people who do the opposite), then She will also be open about the issues that cause so much division and even confusion around sex

At the root of it all…
1. There is one piece of reason at the root of…
2. We have talked about the reasons why sex and relationships were created and now it’s time to talk about the purpose of sex
3. There are two purposes of sex…but before we get into those let’s use a little analogy to understand them better
4. There are two purposes for eating – pleasure and nutrition. If you take away one of the purposes of eating, you end up with an eating disorder.
5. There are two purposes for sex – union and procreation. Similarly, if you take away one of the purposes of sex, it becomes “disordered”
6. Let’s look at some of the ways sex has become disordered…

Abortion
1. Revelation 12:6 --> Satan is waiting to "devour the child..."
2. We’ve looked at the analogy between the Trinity and the union between a man and a woman. We’ve seen how the Holy Spirit is the Love produced by the Father and the Son and how children represent the love produced by a man and a woman
3. Satan hates children, he hates life! For every child that dies in abortion, it is one less person to worry about influencing the world for the good
4. Abortion removes the procreation purpose from sex
5. This is only a brief overview of the effects of abortion. In October we had an awesome speaker here talk even more in depth
6. Abortion is one of the most common surgical procedures in the world, but the average person knows almost nothing of its gruesome reality
7. Every 20 seconds a child is murdered by abortion, in our country alone
8. It quietly destroys over 4,000 innocent human beings a day in the U.S. and 130,000 a day worldwide. It is a silent holocaust...
9. We can talk about all the statistics we want, but let’s get to the reasons why people have and say there should be legal abortion
10. Reasons women have abortion: 3/4 say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or other responsibilities; about 3/4 say they cannot afford a child; and 1/2 say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner
11. I though abortion was made legal for privacy and health reasons only???
12. Some argue that women should be able to have abortions because of endangerment to heath in pregnancy, rape, and incest.
13. Women who have been abused in incest are often forced to have an abortion to cover up the sexual abuse. Women who’ve been raped think an abortion will bring them closure, but it often increases the pain. And let’s look at a new Saint who gave her life in childbirth for her unborn daughter…
14. Late-term and Partial Birth abortions are extremely gruesome and if people actually knew what happened, many hearts would be changed
15. We must get educated, we must NOT be silent, we must be a support to pregnant women who feel like they have no choice, we must act in whatever way God calls us because being silent about abortion is worst thing we could do…
16. Just to think about: if murder is illegal and we can show it on TV, why can’t we show an abortion, which is legal? What is it that they don’t want us to know?

17. Finally, we MUST be a support to women who are pregnant and also to spread the Good News about Sex in order that people don't get themselves in situations that go against God's plan and purpose for sex.

Homosexuality
1. First I will argue this topic without using God or Faith to show you that the reason God gave us is enough to understand this tough issue. And since there has been much contention over Same-Sex "marriage" these days, let's start there.
2. Definitions:
·Marriage: 1)the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law
2) an intimate or close union
·Union: an act or instance of uniting or joining two or m ore things into one
·*This is important for understanding why homosexuals cannot enter into marriage or civil unions.
3. Every person, whether heterosexual or homosexual, is subject to legal restrictions as to whom they may marry.
·While every individual person is free to get married, no person, whether heterosexual or homosexual, has ever had a legal right to marry simply any willing partner.
·The fundamental "right to marry" is a right that rests with individuals, not with couples. Homosexual individuals already have exactly the same "right" to marry as anyone else. Marriage license applications do not inquire as to a person's "sexual orientation."
4. Marriage is not a way of simply recognizing people who love each other and want to spend their lives together.
a. If love and companionship were sufficient to define marriage, then there would be no reason to deny “marriage” to unions of a child and an adult, to roommates who have no sexual relations, or to groups rather than couples.
b. Love and companionship are usually considered integral to marriage in our culture but they are not sufficient to define them as an institution
5. Even adding a sexual relationship to love and companionship does not constitute it as “marriage.”
c. The Supreme Court, in Lawrence vs. Texas, ruled that sodomy laws are unconstitutional. Ironically, the Court’s ruling that sex need not be (legally) confined to marriage undermine any argument that sex alone is a defining characteristic of marriage. There must be something more.
6. So, what IS marriage?
d. Homosexual relationships cannot be reasoned as “marriage” by fact of natural law. That is, they do not fit the minimum necessary condition for a marriage to exist – namely, a physical union
e. Indeed, the facts that a child cannot reproduce, that close relatives cannot reproduce without risk, and that it only takes one man and one woman to reproduce, are among the reasons why people are barred from marrying a child, a close blood relative, or a person who is already married. Concerns about reproduction are central to those restrictions on one's choice of marriage partner--just as they are central to the restriction against "marrying" a person of the same sex.
7. Homosexuality removes both the unitive and procreative purposes of sex
8. Now for the reasoning by FAITH:
*The three persons of the Trinity make ONE God
*This is why God made men and women: to image the Trinity
*Men and Women can come together, in their bodies, to image God
*Two men and Two women cannot be physically united and cannot image God with their “acts” (What they “do” is not sex. Sex is a union.)
*God’s love is Free, Total, Faithful and Fruitful, and our love is called to be the same
*We profess these “vows” (to be Free, Total, Faithful and Fruitful) in the marriage rite; Homosexual acts can be “argued” they are “free and faithful”, but they are not fruitful or total. They cannot bear children through the natural sexual act and they are not giving of themselves totally. (Studies also will show that a majority homosexual relationships are not faithful)
9. What should we do if we know someone who is homosexual or we feel these tendencies ourselves?
10. First of all, distinctions must be made:
Homosexual Desire: the “desire” to be with someone of the same gender: not a sin
Homosexual Act: acting out the desire: is considered a sin
11. Second, know that we all have crosses to bear and there are always people to help us
12. COURAGE: a group of homosexual Catholics who support each other in the sincere effort to be chaste and live faithfully to the Church, and tries to conform human lives to the teaching of Christ’s Church

More on this topic:

• The main argument for homosexuality is that people are "born" with same-sex attraction.
• In all actuality, people are no more born with same-sex attractions as they are born alcoholic or are born depressed
• Homosexuality is ultimately a choice
• Using alcoholism as an example, people don't necessarily "choose" to become alcoholic. However, there is usually a trigger that sets off the alcoholism in a person: abuse, bad relationships, the wrong situations, etc.
• Ultimately the alcoholic does have a choice: to continue drinking because it feels good or to turn from his disordered habits and choose what it true, good, and beautiful
• The same is for those with homosexual tendencies. There are triggers that set off same-sex attractions. People don't choose to be homosexual out of the blue.
• Once same-sex attractions are realized, it is KEY that the person look back on his or her life to identify the triggers to see how this has manifested in their life
• The Catholic Church is not oppressive when it comes to the Truth that homosexuality is "disordered" (Disorder is not of the right order, going against Natural Law)
• In fact, following what Romans 12:6 has to say, She wants us to live the most happy and fulfilling life as possible, with Christ as our center!
• People with same-sex attractions are called to live a chaste life. This may sound oppressive, however, it is actually one of the most freeing ways to live
• Here is what COURAGE has to say:
  
  This antagonism is heard so often that many Church people half believe it and think the Church condemns and excludes people with homosexual feelings. Young people especially begin to think their Church is cruel, which is tragic because they start to distrust the Church on other matters. First of all, no one is condemned or excluded by Catholic teaching or policy for homosexuality. And secondly, the Church is not singling out any one type of sexual sin. The Church says adultery, polygamy, and any other form of sexual activity outside the marriage of a man and a woman are all harmful and wrong. And that’s the Church’s job, to be a lighthouse and guide us away from dangerous waters. The Church’s sole mission is to lead people to salvation. In fact, by guiding all people to chastity, the Church saves countless lives which would otherwise be lost to AIDS. The failure rate for condoms in preventing HIV infection for "gay" (and "straight") sex is extremely high. Seeing those harms and many others, the Church must speak. Love demands it.

Please visit COURAGE for more information.

10 Tips to Help You Stay Pure

1. Pray for purity every morning. Don’t repress sexual desires, but pray for their redemption. (3 Hail Mary’s are a great way to do this!)

2. Avoid impure relationships before they begin

3. Once in a relationship, avoid places and situations in which you’re likely to fall into sin and temptation

4. Know your boundaries before you’re tempted, and make sure your date knows them before you even start dating them. This may mean you need to have a specific discussion about it.
5. Choose friends who will help you grow in purity.

6. Double date or group date with friends who have high standards.

7. Get rid of impure TV, magazines (including Cosmo, ladies!), and music. Remember: garbage in = garbage out! St. Paul tells us: “If there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise think about these things.” (Phil 4:8)

8. Listen to the advice of your wisest friends and family members who are committed Christians.

9. Try to go to Confession at least once a month

10. If things are going too far, don’t be afraid to say “No.”

Undoubtedly, at some point in a relationship your conscience will point you in one direction while your hormones tug you in another. Your conscience is a “smoke alarm” letting you know danger is just around the corner. The more you form your conscience to the wisdom of God and His Church, the more capable you’ll be in maintaining pure relationships.

Week 7 - Dating

Theology of the Body
Week 7
Purity of Heart: Living TOB in our Daily Lives

“This is my command: Love one another as I love you.” John 15:12

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that have set before you life and death, blessing and curse; therefore choose life.” Deuteronomy 30:19

“It should cause no surprise that the church, and less than her Divine Founder, is destined to be a ‘sign of contradiction.’” (Luke 2:34) Humane Vitae

Recap of The Language of the Body
1. What is a sacrament? It is a physical sign that points to a spiritual reality. It can also convey God’s grace
2. There are 2 parts: the US to GOD (the physical) and the GOD to US (the spiritual)
3. The body is a physical sign that communicates a spiritual mystery à God’s Love
4. Sexual union, the two becoming “one flesh” makes visible the invisible mystery of God’s Love…this is huge!
5. God created sex to point to who He is: a communion of persons. God created sex to image His love with us (showing us that His plan is to be united to us forever…) and to give us grace
6. God says His love is FREE, TOTAL, FAITHFUL, FRUITFUL and he showed us by dying on the cross
7. We also see this definition of love in the marriage vows
8. Many people have told me, “I want to wait until I’m married to have sex, but I don’t know why.” Here is the WHY: Sex is saying your wedding vows with your body!
9. Words without actions are a waste, and God created something so beautiful, so amazing to do with our bodies that would demonstrate our vows to one another – freely, totally, faithfully, fruitfully
10. Every time a married couple has sex, they are renewing their wedding vows!
11. Remember Tobit 8:7-9?
12. Our bodies speak a spiritual language and not only can they tell the truth, but they can also lie…

Directing our desires
1. In order to date the best way possible you must understand yourself and your desires
2. We not only need to know how to control our desires but also how to direct them towards the true, good, and beautiful
3. Dating may be fun, but it’s purpose is much, much deeper…

Chastity: The Path to Purity
1. “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8
2. The common misconception is that chastity means “no to sex.” It is usually viewed as being on God’s list of DONT’s
3. In all actuality, chastity is all about sex! Simply put, chastity is a big YES to God’s plan for sexuality
4. Chastity is saying yes to LOVE (vs. Lust) and it’s also about loving one another as brothers and sister sin Christ
5. Chastity is FREEDOM! Freedom from: slavery Romans 7:6
6. It enables us to channel our sexual desires in a way that allows us to love as God loves
7. How does God love? FREE, TOTAL, FAITHFUL, FRUITFUL
8. Chastity is not easy (was Christ’s love easy?) because “Chastity is a moral virtue.” But because it is a moral virtue (a habit), “It is also a gift from God, a grace. A fruit of the spiritual effort.” CCC 2345 also see CCC 1832 and Galatians 5:22
9. Romans 7:21-25 – the battle for chastity
10. In summary, chastity is an integration of one’s sexuality with the grace of the Holy Spirit, that reorders the heart towards the way of love, benefiting both neighbor and selfBeing pure is not being a “prude.” Being prudish means thinking sex is bad and dirty. Being chaste means respecting, protecting, and saving sex precisely because it is so valuable, beautiful, and wonderful

Dating With Purpose and Purity
1. The purpose of dating is to find a spouse
2. Granted, this probably isn’t what you’re thinking when you notice someone down the hallway in school!
3. Without a clear dating plan that has purpose and boundaries, your dating life will result in serious heartbreaks or more
4. We’ve learned what it means to be a man and a woman, and now we need to know what it takes to bring the two together – the right way
5. Through a life of chastity and authentic love not only can you enjoy good relationships that are pure, but also set yourself up for a future of happiness and romance without regret
6. A lot of people start dating at a very young age
7. What’s the point of dating anyway?
8. The modern practice of dating is less than 100 years old. Before the car was around and a guy could pick up a girl without approaching a family, a man would “court” a woman in the presence of her family with the hope of marrying her
9. With the family largely out of the picture, dating with the goal of marriage soon fell out of sight and dating became something to do for recreation
**With this recreational approach to dating, a person ends up breaking up with each person they date, except for the one that becomes their spouse.
**Does this sound like good preparation for a lifelong marriage???
**It doesn’t take dating to get to know someone to see if they are the type of person you like or not
10. If the ultimate purpose of dating is to find a spouse, and you date for recreation, you’re just training yourself in the habit of failed relationships!
11. Don’t date someone unless you see yourself marrying them!!!
12. Casual dating increases the likelihood of sexual activity and did you know that the greatest correlation to divorce is the number of sexual partners one has before marriage?

The Relationship Pyramid
1. Imagine a pyramid: at the base is friendship, the most basic of human relationships
2. As you move higher the different levels include: Getting to Know the Person Better, Getting to Know the Person’s Family Better, Exclusive Relationship, Engagement, and Marriage. At the top is the Intimacy of Sex
3. Now, what would happen if you tried to build the pyramid upside down, trying to balance it on the point of the pyramid? It would collapse from all the weight at the top
4. At the very least, it would fall over and get damaged…
5. The same happens when you begin a relationship with sexual activity, in hopes that friendship and love will follow – it doesn’t work!
6. Not only is it contrary to God’s plan for love, but the relationship most likely ends up collapsing or really hurting the persons involved

The Courtship Alternative
1. Should you date only the person you marry? Should you hang out with their family on your dates? Oh boy, that sounds like fun!
2. Actually, there are practical and fun ways you can apply the principals of old-fashioned courtship to help you find real love
3. BUT, why should you be thinking about marriage when you’re just a teenager? How do you know if a person is marriage material?
4. ANSWER: Every person is called to love, called to “marriage,” either to an earthly spouse or as a spouse to the Church. We should be discerning who we are called to love from an early age so that life isn’t filled with broken hearts…
5. How can you figure out if a person is marriage material? à the short answer is that you make smart choices that will help you discover as much “data” as possible while keeping your head clear
6. “Courting” teaches you to be friends first before jumping into a romantic relationship
7. It allows you to get to know their family and friends, how they treat others, their level of faith – without infatuation clouding the answers
8. Yes, our desire to find love may cause us to be impatient and want that person now, but we’ve all heard that the best comes to those who wait
9. Taking time to be friends and getting to know someone does a few things:
**It holds our lust accountable and we have to ask ourselves: is this person worth waiting for?
**It allows us to see them in different situations – to see how they handle things and treat others
**“Courting” brings the family into the equation because they can provide good advice

Chill Out! You won’t become weird!
10. Many people in High School think they’re weird for not having a boyfriend or girlfriend
11. But, as much as they might miss having a date for every Friday night, they’re actually better off in the long run
12. When they finish HS they won’t feel like they’ve been through a teenage soap-opera and three emotional divorces!
13. As a result, teens who hold off on serious dating relationship give themselves a better chance to find their identity and their independence helps them to have more successful relationships in the long run

Where’s the Line?
1. We have all asked this question: How far is too far?
2. With this “what can I get away with” mindset, we will never understand chastity.
3. Why is this statement self-seeking? Is it oriented towards true love?
4. The right question to ask is: “God, how do You want me to live and love so I can find the happiness for which I really long?”
5. Christ said in the Sermon on the Mount: “Any man who looks upon another woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:25 This was not condemnation, but rather a call to purity deeper than actions, a purity of heart
6. Result: chastity is a framework of mind and of heart, not a boundary
7. The purpose of purity and chastity in dating is not to repress our desires, but to be free to love and be loved for the right reasons
What is the Answer?!
1. Repression? NO! Indulgence? NO! Then it must be REDEMPTION!
2. Redemption is a gift, only possible through the gift of the Spirit. It is a transformation of our sexual desires, views, and urges from how they have been twisted and distorted.
3. How do we receive redemption of our sexuality?
4. You already have!!! Ephesians 3:20 Christ died for this very purpose. But all need to experience this redemption deeper. The question is, how?
5. Easter Sunday doesn’t come without Good Friday. We are baptized into the death and resurrection of Christ.
6. Redemption comes when we turn our desires over to Christ and ask him to purify them and then, through the Holy Spirit, we are made pure!
7. “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8 When we see the real beauty of the body, it is impossible to lust because we have no desire to do so. When we see the real beauty of the body, we are able to love as God loves. When we see the real beauty of the body, we see God face to face…

Being a Self-Master
1. If you’re not supposed to get married for another ten years or so, how are you supposed to stay pure in the meantime?
2. It’s reasonable to ask why God would give teenagers such powerful sexual desires when marriage is so far away
3. Having a desire when it isn’t appropriate to act on it gives us the opportunity to train us in faithfulness and self-mastery
4. Through self-denial required in living chastely, we learn the skills that will help make marriage last: patience, sacrifice, honesty, self-discipline, etc…
5. When we resist certain desires, we grow in virtue – we learn self-mastery
6. If a person doesn’t have self-control and can’t even say “No” to sex, then their “Yes: becomes meaningless
7. When someone is a “Self-Master” they (not their desires) control their actions and only they can image God and make a gift of themselves
8. Remember: purity is an act of love, not an absence of desire!

Week 6 - The Language of the Body

Theology of the Body Week 6
The Language of the Body

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for a friend.” John 15:13

“If we live according to the truth of our sexuality, we fulfill the very meaning and being of our existence.” Pope John Paul II

“Love to be real, must cost – it must hurt – it must empty us of self.”
Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

In the beginning…
1. God created men and women in His image and likeness. God is Love, and we are made to reflect and point to His Love.
2. Once again, through the union of a man and woman in marriage, God makes visible His love for mankind and His plan to be eternally united with us in Heaven.
3. Until sin entered the world, man and woman knew how to love one another perfectly – without causing hurt or shame
4. They fulfilled “the very meaning and being of (their) existence” because, in their perfect love, they pointed to God and made an image of Him on earth. They also showed one another that their ultimate goal was to get each other to Heaven
5. As of the past 2 weeks, we know that men and women are equal but different. They are both called to LOVE but in different ways
6. Women are to be a reflection of Heaven in how they dress and act because a woman’s beauty shows a man what Heaven is like
7. Women are also supposed to guard and protect their bodies from objectification and shame because a woman has the supreme gift of bringing life into the world (whether spiritual or physical)
8. Men are to sacrifice for women and “lay down their life” for them, just as Christ did on the cross – to be a warrior
9. Men are also supposed to initiate love with women by pursuing them, and to protect women from their own lust – by treating them respectfully and allowing God to perfect their sexual desires

The Sacramentality of the Body
1. What is a sacrament? It is a physical sign that points to a spiritual reality. It can also convey God’s grace
2. There are 2 parts: the GOD to US and the US to GOD
3. There is always a physical and a spiritual element. Why? Because we are slow sometimes and can’t understand things if they aren’t tangible!
4. When it comes to religion, many people are used to an emphasis on just the spiritual, and sometimes we are uncomfortable with an emphasis on the physical
5. We can’t see God. As pure Spirit, he’s invisible. But how does God make Himself present to us? Through the physical!!
6. It is in and through the senses that we encounter God. EX: water, bread, wine, oil
7. Take Baptism for example. The physical element is the water and the words. Through the water and words, God forgives us of our Original Sin, which is the grace part that we can’t see
8. God created the body as a “sign” of his own divine mystery. God created the body as a sacrament to point to Him
9. Look at the Incarnation: The Word became FLESH
10. How do we know who God is? Through Jesus Christ, who became FLESH
11. The body is a physical sign that communicates a spiritual mystery à God’s Love
12. Sexual union, the two becoming “one flesh” makes visible the invisible mystery of God’s Love…this is huge!
13. God created sex to point to who He is: a communion of persons. God created sex to image His love with us (showing us that His plan is to be united to us forever…) and to give us grace

Jesus Christ is the Greatest Sacrament!

What is God’s Love?
1. Free: “…I lay down my life in order to take it up again.” John 10:17
2. Total: “As the Father loves me, so I also love you.” John 15:9
3. Faithful: “But God proves His love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
4. Fruitful: “In this way the love of God was revealed to us; God sent His only Son into the world so that we might have life through him.” 1John 4:9
5. Jesus didn’t just say these things to us – He SHOWED us how much he loved us. This is why words without actions are a waste. He gave His body for us and asks us to do the same for one another
6. Sex is a major way of communicating, with actions, how much we love someone – because love is not a feeling, it is not just words – love is an action
7. So, why can’t we have sex all the time and with whoever we want, if it shows who God is?
8. Because, by definition, God’s Love is FREE, TOTAL, FAITHFUL and FRUITFUL and if our love is not professed as the same, we are lying with our bodies
9. Where do we see FTFF? In the wedding vows!!!

10. Many people have told me, “I want to wait until I’m married to have sex, but I don’t know why.”
11. Here is the WHY: Sex is saying your wedding vows with your body!
12. Words without actions are a waste, and God created something so beautiful, so amazing to do with our bodies that would demonstrate our vows to one another – freely, totally, faithfully, fruitfully
13. Every time a married couple has sex, they are renewing their wedding vows!

The Language of the Body
1. Who has ever heard of the term: body language? What does this indicate?
2. Did you know that just as our bodies speak a physical language, they can speak a spiritual language too?
3. Just as our bodies can speak the truth of God’s magnificent plan, they can also lie.
4. This is why sex out of marriage is a lie! It’s not because someone said no, but because you are proclaiming something with your body that can’t be true!
5. A married couple is renewing their vows every time they have sex. A non-married couple has nothing to renew! They are saying with their bodies that they will be FTFF without actually committing it first!

The Consequences of a Lie
1. Lies have personal consequences:
a. They separate us internally from the ones we actually love
b. They can eat away at us
c. They build up and snowball
d. They have real, physical consequences (in this case, STD’s,
2. Lies have relational consequences:
a. They separate us externally from the ones we love
b. Lying is destructive of society; it undermines trust among men and tears apart the fabric of social relationships CCC 2486
c. It leads other people astray – our actions don’t just affect ourselves
d. None of us lives to himself. If one member suffers, all suffer together… 1Cor 12:26
e. Lies in sex lead men and women to use one another, and we end up empty, alone, confused, and searching even more
3. Lies have eternal consequences
a. They separate us from God
b. God knows us better than ourselves Psalm 139 – we can’t escape from His Truth!
c. Death is the consequence to sin

What happens when the vows are flipped?
1. What happens when you take the wedding vows, applied to sex, and flip them upside down?
2. Instead of sex being free, it is pressured at the end of a date, forced in sexual abuse, and paid for in prostitution and pornography
3. Instead of sex being a total gift of self, we have one-night stands, supposedly “safe” sex, and husbands and wives withholding their fertility from one another
4. Instead of promoting faithfulness and fidelity, we have shows like Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives dominating our view of relationships
5. Instead of being fruitful, the act of sex is sterilized with contraception and abortion
6. What happens if I have flipped the vows upside down and made mistakes? --> we will talk more about this soon, but for now, know that God’s mercy is so incredible that we can be made new again!

Is the Church down on sex?
1. Some people think that the Catholic Church is “out of touch” when it comes to sex and sexuality
2. This couldn’t be further from the truth! The reason the Church has so many “rules” when it comes to sex is because she knows the truth and beauty it actually contains!
3. There are rules when we drive to make sure we aren’t crashing into and killing each other on the road
4. The same goes when it comes to sex…
5. The Catholic Church wants us to live an awesome life and experience true freedom and true love
6. EXAMPLE: did you know that the canopy (baldacchino) built over most altars in Catholic Church actually represents the canopy over a marriage bed? The symbolism reminds us that on the altar during the Mass, the Bridegroom (Christ) gives His Body (the Eucharist) to His Bride (the Church) that we might have eternal life!
7. The Church calls the marriage bed “the altar of the home”!!!

The Truth will set you free…
1. Freedom is not being able to do what you want, whenever you want. This is called “license.” The world’s view of freedom actually causes us to be a slave to our emotions and desires
2. Freedom is actually the ability to desire and choose the good
3. JP II says “Freedom without responsibilities is the opposite of love.”
4. Freedom is not about escaping rules. Authentic freedom is about accepting and living out the truth of who we are created to be (children of God) and for what we are created (love and communion)
5. Being free to love as God loves doesn’t come easy – it only comes through God’s grace
6. Once we allow God to change our hearts, the moral life becomes a life not about rules but about love. We obey God’s commands not because we have to but because we want to
7. Selfishness really does lead to misery. God created us to be a gift to others and in living the opposite of this we become unfulfilled
8. It’s sometimes fun to do things our way – but only for a while. Soon the excitement of one-night stands and living with our boyfriend or girlfriend wears off and we are left empty
9. Living in the Truth of Christ and His Church sets us free and opens our hearts to be the men and women we are created to be

“If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will make you free.” John 8:31-32

Week 5 - What it means to be a man

Theology of the Body Week 5
Living True Manhood in Christ

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for a friend.” John 15:13

“Jesus Christ, in the revelation of the mystery of God and His love, fully reveals man to himself and makes his supreme calling clear.” Gaudium Et Spes 22

“If we live according to the truth of our sexuality, we fulfill the very meaning and being of our existence.” Pope John Paul II

In the beginning…
1. God created men and women in His image and likeness. God is Love, and we are made to reflect and point to His Love.
2. Once again, through the union of a man and woman in marriage, God makes visible His love for mankind and His plan to be eternally united with us in Heaven.
3. God’s love is FREE, TOTAL, FAITHFUL and FRUITFUL. Our love must be the same…
4. However, our calling to love one another is often warped by sin
5. Instead of giving, men resort to taking. Instead of seeing the woman as a sister in humanity, he reduces her to an object of his lust
6. By looking at the way God designed our body and desires, we can learn who we are as men and how we should live

The Meaning of Masculinity
1. What is the most important question a man could ask himself?
2. Men: there is a reason why we are fascinated by women’s bodies: God made us that way!
3. The closer you get to God, the more you become who He made you to be as a man
4. Your sexual drive will not be eliminated – it will be perfected in Love
5. According to society, who or what is a man?
6. Is this what God planned from the beginning? Then, why do we believe it?
7. Once again, we must uncover the lies of Satan from their origin, and untwist what is good, pure, and true!

Initiating Love – What it means to be a man…
1. Just as women, men are called to LOVE
2. But, men and women aren’t the same, they are equal but different
3. So, men are called to love in a distinctly different way than women. Women are called to love through receiving and conceiving where as men are called to love through initiating a gift of themselves.“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her…Ephesians 5:25
4. The man initiates love because he is the man – it isn’t what he ought to do, it is part of who he is
5. When you consider the anatomy of a man, it is obvious he is the one who initiates the gift of himself to the woman
6. Christ repeatedly refers to Himself as the BRIDEGROOM
7. Men: don’t be ashamed into thinking you are bad for having strong sexual desires. When you see a woman, God designed your entire being to respond!
8. God says that women are an earthly reflection of paradise. When we get to Heaven we will realize God is the ultimate delight of our eyes. Until then, women foreshadow the beauty of Heaven itself!
9. Just as God initiates love with us, men are to initiate this love with a woman according to God’s demands of true love
10. Just as God did, men are also to initiate LIFE
11. A young man must choose wisely when and through who he will bring life into the world
12. By abstaining from sex until he is married a young man is doing what is best for his future children by not conceiving them yet…He sacrifices his desires for the good of others…He postpones gratification…He is a real man
13. Instead of abstaining, some men gamble with the future of others and if their girlfriend does “accidentally” get pregnant some either blame her or pay for her to “take care of it”
14. Remember men, that Satan hates women, he hates children, he hates life. He will even use you to destroy women, children, and, yes, even life.
15. The mission of being a father is something every man is called to do – no matter what their vocation is
16. But, we should not engage in the act that creates a family until we are prepared to bear the responsibility for one
17. If God chose to reveal Himself as Father, you can be sure that the devil will use every weapon to tarnish the earthly image of fatherhood

The Fall of Man(hood)
1. To discover the meaning of manhood, we must look at the two Adams: Adam, and Christ (the new Adam)
2. In the beginning, Adam understood his call to love as God intended, and he loved his bride rightly. This is why “the man and his wife were naked and felt no shame.” Genesis 2:25
3. What went wrong? Why did Adam fail?
4. Adam doubted the love of the Father and chose not to obey God’s plan for his manhood.
5. In Genesis 2:15 God tells Adam that it is his job to cultivate and protect the Garden of Eden.
6. The Garden of Eden is also a metaphor for the woman. Remember Song of Songs 4:12: “You are a garden enclosed, my sister my bride.”
7. So, essentially Adam’s duty was to protect both his wife and the garden.
8. In doubting the love of the Father, Adam denies his duties willed by God and allowed Satan access to his wife, the very life he was called to protect above his own.
9. As Satan tempts Eve, Adam stands by and watched Satan put his wife to death, Genesis 3:6, and his role as a man becomes further distorted.
10. The first result of sin is: SHAME
11. Why were Adam and Eve ashamed?
12. In this case, Adam, who once loved purely as God loves by making a complete self-sacrificial gift of himself to his bride, now looked upon Eve with lust and no longer desired to make a selfless gift of himself to her.
13. Just as Satan disoriented the meaning of woman’s sexuality through sin, he disoriented the man’s desires – opening him up to an enslaving emotion of lust
14. Lust is the absence of LOVE
15. If God is love, then lust is the absence of GOD
16. Lust = Satan’s attack to object women and confuse masculinity, to take humanity away from the plan of God.
What happened after sin?
17. As a man, Adam should have accepted responsibility for “falling down at his post” and allowing Satan access to his wife. However, he does the opposite and blames both the woman and God: “The woman whom you put here with me – she gave me the fruit of the tree so I ate it.” Genesis 3:12
18. Just as Eve failed to trust in the love of God and chose to take for herself, Adam failed too. Did he participate in the manhood planned by God? No!
19. Our hearts are now a battlefield between love and lust
20. How does sin effect men?
· Man’s view changed from giving love to “getting some” à and knowing how to push a woman’s buttons to get her to give him what he wants…
· Man became passive towards woman and allowed her to do the imitating
· Others are wrapped up in pornography – “the woman on the screen never says no”
· Even masturbation and oral sex say that “all I want is my own gratification”
21. Man’s problem is not the beauty of the woman’s body. His problem is that he must re-learn how to “look” at her
22. But…all is not lost!

Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous…Just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 5:18-19,21

Restoring Real Manhood Through the New Adam
Why did Christ come?
1. Christ did not come to give us coping mechanisms to deal with our sins! Christ came to set us FREE!!! To restore God’s original plan from the beginning!!! To untwist the meaning of masculinity and femininity…
Why did Christ come as a man?
2. Christ came to physically reveal the fatherhood of God.
3. God is Father because he initiated the gift of life
4. He came as the bridegroom to physically give His body to His bride on the cross
5. Christ came as a man also because men are called to initiate love by making a gift of that love to his bride. “We love because He first loved us.” 1John 4:19
6. Because of sin, the love of God dies in the hearts of man. Christ came to breathe the breath of life back into His people so we can once again love in the image and likeness of God.
How was Christ’s response to manhood different from Adam’s?
7. Just as Eve doubted and Mary surrendered in complete faith, Adam cowardly backed down but Christ did the opposite!
8. Instead of allowing Satan to attack His Bride, Christ took the attack upon his back and endured it until it killed him. Christ succeeded to make a self-sacrificial gift of himself. The TREE now becomes the source of eternal life, a choice of pure love
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends”
John 15:13
9. The battle is for the dignity of the Bride, as individuals and as the Church. Men are then called to be the defender and protector of women’s dignity.
10. Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. 2The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe 3and went up to him again and again, saying, “Hail, king of the Jews!” And they struck him in the face…When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, “BEHOLD THE MAN!” John 19:1-6
11. This is the meaning of manhood! Why did Christ suffer the Passion? So he could lay down His life out of love for His bride…

The Way Christ Loved His Bride
1. Freely: “…I lay down my life in order to take it up again.” John 10:17
2. Totally: “As the Father loves me, so I also love you.” John 15:9
3. Faithfully: “But God proves His love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
4. Fruitfully: “In this way the love of God was revealed to us; God sent His only Son into the world so that we might have life through him.” 1John 4:9
5. Gentlemen, this is your call! “Husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the Church and handed Himself over for her.” Ephesians 5:25

Man as a Warrior
1. Strength has always been associated with masculinity
2. The strength of the male body points to something deeper à it reveals the interior strength men possess
3. True masculinity requires interior strength – especially to overcome lust
4. God is a warrior, but often enough we don’t hear of him this way.
5. God fights for His beloved – He isn’t weak and doesn’t back down from a fight
6. Too many people have tried to feminize men and God. The result is fewer men at church, and fewer real “men” in general
7. Rarely will a man ever have to literally die for his bride. But, men, if you really want to be a warrior and die for her, let your lust die. Guard her soul. Protect her eternal life…

“Christ assigns the dignity of every woman as a task to every man.”

JP II

Pursue Her!!!
1. Remember how men are to initiate love?
2. The Book of Tobit gives us a glimpse of how to love a woman…Tobit 8:4-9
3. Although Tobias “yearned deeply” for his beautiful bride, he pursued her with sincerity and not because of lust
4. A woman knows the difference between being looked upon as an object and being viewed as a daughter of God
5. Often men are portrayed as “womanizers” (which isn’t fair…)
6. Society says that gay men are the only non-threatening males that are as friends to women

There is a need for a crusade of manliness and purity…

St. Josemaria Escriva

The Mission of Men
1. Men: Who will you be for women?
2. Your answer to this question will determine the measure of your masculinity
3. Should you ever lose sight of what it means to be a man, imagine Jesus hanging on the cross saying: “This is how I got my bride to Heaven. How else do you think you’ll get yours there?”
4. Although marriage or the priesthood may seem far away, the way you live today will form the person you are a decade from now. How are men to live?
YOU ask out the girl – take the fear of rejection off her
Be a gentleman – know that because you are a man, you represent who God is to women
· Treat her like a sister, first – protect her like a sister
· Give your life and struggles to Christ everyday and allow Him to change your lust into love
· Remember the strength that God gave you to be a man
· Don’t be afraid of what true love will “cost” you

“Behold the Man…”

John 19:6